My therapist told me I was compulsive the other day. I half nodded in half agreement though I was only half certain I agreed at the time. It made me feel wrong.
Compulsive. It sounds like a medical procedure.
I tend to think I'm a little obsessive and I bet she thinks this too though she hasn't said it. Though don't you necessarily have to be a little obsessive to be compulsive but not the other way around?
Back to the... COMPULSIVE. We were discussing class and what I do to study. I take notes. I rewrite them at home. I go over the study guide he gives us and write answers to that, then rewrite that because I can't think and write at the same time. I have two notebooks for this class. One is the messy one, the other one is legible. I do the homework. I read the chapter a couple of times and I highlight it and go through and skim all the highlighted parts. I watch this cd-rom that comes with the book because there are a couple of things in it that are maybe helpful. The book [i]says[/i] you should study three hours for every hour you are in class.
So she said that I am a little compulsive about things. I still only half agree. Because there are many many things that I am not compulsive about. Not regularly anyway. I also feel like I have to study like that because just looking over things doesn't help.
There are so many times when I could be compulsive and I'm just not. Like about the bathroom. I haven't gone nuts and scrubbed the bathroom like crazy for a while. Probably because there is no one else driving me nuts about it. [But damn did it need it.]
My mother wants me to call my doctor about the meds not working well enough. She thinks that how I am acting/reacting isn't worth how little benefit I am getting from them. Plus he'll be away for a month.
I don't know who's covering for him. I don't want to call.
Speaking of doctors.
My doctor [same one] had to fill out a form for insurance and one of the questions was "In your professional opinion, will this person ever be capable of self-support?"
He answered no.
...well we should throw a fucking ticker tape parade, huh?