I am kind of starting to feel like some of this shit is in my head.
Or at least the part where it's getting worse.
I mean. I know that I have the migraines and they're weird and that exists. It has been pretty well established.
I started taking 50 more milligrams of topiramate. And, while things aren't fabulous, nothing major major has happened.
Well. Had happened.
See-I had been telling BF that nothing huge had happened and a little while later I started getting a really significant headache, I mean really significant. So I have to wonder. Is this my fault?
Now it could be because the night before I had only gotten three hours sleep. But I feel like... that's not enough to trigger that.
I really feel stupid.
Like, I don't know, I'm just making this all up.
Only I'm not! ...I don't think.
I just want a normal brain.
But as it is I get these pains that aren't really too bad that are from 5-15 minutes that I'm not really calling headaches and these feelings that "things aren't quite right". As in, they are going to go wrong. In my brain.
Like I'm going to have a funky migraine. But for the most part, nothing happens.
And a lot of tingling. There is a LOT of tingling in my brain. That could be the topiramate, as one can't actually feel their own brain.
I'm tired a lot usually. Only the other night I just couldn't sleep for some reason.
I'm close to just cutting all neurologists out of my life, and doing the "everything is fine, thank you" thing.
And now I have a presentation, a final painting and paper, and a final paper to do. And I am having a hell of a time doing any of it.
I just want to leave already.