6.19.2011

Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

I don't know what I'm doing right now.
I mean, I sort of know what I'm doing.

That is, I seem to be stomping around, crashing about, making a lot of noise, bitching and moaning about how things are so hard, and life sucks and I can't possibly manage because I'm craaaaaaaaaazy.

Though, to be honest- while things are difficult right now and I am crazy, and pretty stressed out, I probably don't need to be in the driver seat of the bus to loonyville. I mean, I should think one would hope to avoid that sort of thing.

On the other hand, my summer does seem to be "jam packed full of fun activities!" which can on occasion incite some actual waterworks.

So, what to do? There isn't really anything that I can back out of.
I'm stuck in the two classes I'm taking because it's money already spent. I have to do the internship because it's attached to one of the classes- don't do the internship, fail the class, fail the class, I'm screwed.
So, that's a no-go.

Need money so have to work.
Which means, most weeks I have one day off by chance, which I spend driving an hour down to my boyfriend's house and an hour back. Some weeks, I will be working in the morning and then driving the hour down and back.

This is... quite the little set up for disaster, I feel. I mean I suppose I can do it, I just don't really feel it's the healthiest thing for me.  In the midst of all that I have to see my therapist and psychiatrist and find an apartment as well.

I know, I know, I DO prattle on.
I just can't shut up.

I don't know how I got myself here. I don't know how to get out of the knot I tied myself in. I'm not really well.

My sister will be home for a good part of the summer and that's... going to be interesting.

We actually tend to make eachother insane.

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