10.18.2011


I'm feeling a lot of "free floating anxiety", though it's really just the bottom layer.
On top of that is a little bit of paranoia, specific anxiety about my future, and there's some panic that I'm REALLY REALLY trying to not let sneak in.

I can feel my heart getting faster and my chest feels kind of tight and my stomach hurts.

I'm having trouble concentrating and making sense of a lot of things, I think.

I feel like I'm doing a lot of things wrong?

And also... that I'm supposed to be doing something, anything else, but "taking a break". I feel a push to be going, going, going. VERY anxious that I'm not doing classically productive things right this very second [schoolwork?].

But I don't have any PRNs, because I decided I didn't need them, because everything was going just swimmingly.

I feel exhausted on top of all of this, though my sleep has been shit. I kind of have an aversion to sleep right now.

I feel wound very tight, and sad, and a little confused. I don't know what to do when I need to relax or whatever.

Kind of freaking out.
Yay.

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