3.15.2009

Conversations in Stupid [RE: touchy-feely auties]

Person A: If you are looking for emotional closeness in this relationship you will be disappointed.

Person B: Wait- is that because of the Asperger's factor?

Person A: Definitely a consequence of our different thinking. I'm not suggesting people with AS can't have moments of emotional closeness. Not in the way NT female would expect. My way of showing how I care for my wife is ironing the clothes, mowing the lawns or something else constructive that I know pleases her. Sitting down talking about feelings, constantly touching etc means little to me and is uncomfortable.

I think that while this may be an issue for Person A, it's not an issue that is true for all on the spectrum. He is making this assumption, which is kind of, um, wrong that those with ASD aren't able to demonstrate affection and don't crave closeness. 
He's buying into that. 
I agree that some have that issue. But some don't. 
I feel like it's often thought that autism= no emotion; autism=no closeness; autism=no feelings. 
Even by those who are on the spectrum.

There is sometimes an issue of accessing ones feelings, of identification.  But that's completely different than saying a person has no feelings, is not affectionate, etc.

I'm really trying to figure some things out lately in regards to the "HFA" thing.
I got tied up in this conversation elsewhere on the internets and got frustrated.

I mean, there's this one thread that is titled something like "HELP MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS AS!!!"

Seriously? Seriously.